


A Life Abridged

by insanity_by_proxy



Series: In which I am the Force, and I do as I Will [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Dreams for the Future, Everybody Dies, Extended Scene, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Kid Fic - ish, Not A Fix-It, The Beach Scene, Wishful Thinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 10:57:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9178522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanity_by_proxy/pseuds/insanity_by_proxy
Summary: “Tell me what you see.” Cassian said softly, his fingers stroking soothing patterns into her hair.Jyn was quiet for a long while trying to gather her thoughts, and berating herself for wasting time. But soon enough she answered with a dream: “I see… a ship coming to get us.”Cassian’s arms tightened around her body. “Where does it take us?” He asked, knowing it was not the truth but willing to play along.“It takes us somewhere green… Where there are mountains near the ocean.” Jyn closed her eyes for a moment and imagined her childhood home. After so many years of fighting, she can see why her parents found the idea of a farm appealing. “And a house; small, but sturdy and warm.”Standing on the beach with death mere moments away, Cassian and Jyn take a few moments to imagine what their lives together might have looked like.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This same fic has been done a few hundred times at this point, a fair few of which by writers who are much better at their craft than me, but I just couldn’t not throw my hat into the ring. I think everyone’s finding writing their own version of this scene somewhat therapeutic. So here, have my iteration of Cassian and Jyn on that beach.

It was with the most horrible of realizations that Cassian looked into Jyn’s wide green eyes and knew, without a doubt, that he loved her. Even more horribly he could see the same realization reflected back at him in Jyn’s face. He didn’t know how it had happened, by all rights they hadn’t had the time necessary to do so, they had only known each other for a number of days; but there in that elevator, standing so close that he could feel her heat and smell her breath, Cassian knew that what he felt for Jyn Erso was impossibly, unmistakably love.

It was both terrifying and beautiful. It was _awful,_ in every possible meaning of the term. But most of all it was unfair; because they had seen the Death Star enter into orbit above Scarif and they knew what such a sight meant, they had seen it before. It meant that they had mere minutes left to live and this time there was no escape to be had, by-the-skin-of-their-teeth or otherwise. Only death awaited them at the bottom of that tower. Only an end to a story which had only just begun.

It seemed that Chirrut, for all his prayers, was wrong. The Force was not with them on this day, or else it was a myth altogether. Or the Force had a wicked cruel streak, Cassian mused, to have the audacity to let him realize that he loved someone only for it to be in their last moments.

Or maybe it was a kindness… He thought, taking in the resigned expression on Jyn’s face. That they found each other, and realized the nature of their feelings in time that he could die knowing he stood next to the woman he loved in the wake of one last successful mission for the fight that he had dedicated his life to. Yes… Cassian thought, he could think of no better end than that, and this was his reward; a small comfort at the end for his efforts. They could not be given the time that they would have wanted, it was fated that they would meet their end on this day, so they would have to make do with the time that they had remaining to them.

Cassian would not waste it.

He did try to convince her to leave him behind and save herself, but Cassian knew before the words even left his mouth that she would refuse. She did not disappoint, and Cassian selfishly was not sad that he would not be facing this alone.

Sitting there on that beach on Scarif, Cassian looked out over the water at the dawn-like death that creeped towards them, and he vowed to make Jyn smile one last time.

“Your father would be proud of you, Jyn.” He said, and _oh but he could drown in that smile,_ would have gladly spent the rest of his days hunting for it again. 

Visions of a thousand different futures flashed in his mind: One where they escape this beach, battered and bruised, but survive only to rededicate themselves further to the fight, only slowing when the Empire finally, finally crumbles and they are hailed as heroes. Another where they find a laser-blasted but still-functional ship waiting for them at the base of the comm tower, and after a pause they take it, one last chance, and break atmo just as the wave of destruction overtakes the beach they had just been standing on. In that future, they pilot the ship anywhere but back to Yavin 4. Anywhere but back to the fight. There’s one future where after their escape they retire from the Rebellion gracefully, their mission done, their due served, and they decide to _live_ for those who did not make it. In that future, there is a farm on a verdant planet, and a house on the outskirts of a town. In that future, no one knows their names, or what they’ve done for the sake of the Republic that replaces the Empire. In that future, there are children; twins born as if to say that even if Jyn and Cassian cannot be there for their children always, they two will never be truly alone in this universe. In that future, their children grow up strong, and happy, and _free_ ; and one day they ask their mother why she and father have nightmares that wake them in the night. In that future, he and Jyn have prepared for this day and so take out the holo book which contains the story of a tyrannical Empire, and the engineer who worked in secret to sabotage it. The story of the Rebellion who still believed in hope and freedom despite overwhelming adversity. The story of the cargo pilot who risked everything to do what he thought was right. The story of a broken K2 unit who was shown that people, though predictable, could still be surprising creatures. The story of the two Guardians of the Temple who were long assumed to be nothing but the relics of a by-gone age, but who still had a role to play in the coming events. The story of the long jaded Rebel spy, and his struggle to find his way back to the light. The story of a selfish criminal who was inspired by those around her to become a hero of the Rebellion. The story of Rogue One. In that future, Cassian and Jyn grow old together and after years of struggle and heartache, but just as much joy and love, he dies surrounded by his family but alone.

When Cassian finally came out of his daydreams he found that Jyn was in his arms, and the end was almost upon them. And while all those dreams are beautiful, and they are to an extent what he would have wanted for himself and Jyn, _this is enough_. Jyn was in his arms; warm and alive, and he loved her, and he thought (he _felt_ , he _knew_ ) she loved him back, and they would die here but they would go together. That’s more than most people ever get.

And it is enough.

He takes these last moments to hold Jyn close, and to ask her what she sees in their future.

 

* * *

 

Their story ends on that beach.

Jyn knew this to be true the moment they stepped into the lift and out of the sunlight where the Death Star had just broken atmo, though she could see it took Cassian a little longer to accept.

But for the moment, in the darkness of the elevator shaft they were together and they were safe. Cassian’s eyes were darker than usual as he gazed at her, glinting as light from the lift’s tiny window slipped by. His face was an open book to her; his feelings and the intensity of them, for once, easy to see. And Jyn was, at once, floored by this wordless revelation and horrified at herself to find that she felt the same.

This wasn’t the time. This wasn’t the place. What’s more it was too fast by a long way. But then again, life had always been cruel to Jyn Erso, why should her death be any different? She’d just have to do what she always did, and make the most of it.

“Go.” Cassian pled with her when they stepped once more into the sunlight. “Run to the ship, you still have time to get away.”

Jyn just smiled and shook her head, a little sadly. Even if she could make it out of here, she wouldn’t leave him now; not after everything they’ve been through together, not after he, not only stayed, but returned to her. Not when she knows now that she loves him.

They collapsed into the sand together and gazed out over the water. The blast from the Death Star grew closer by the minute, but they still had a few moments left to them. It was the closest thing to peace that Jyn had felt in a long time.

Jyn hoped that the others had gotten away somehow. That Bodhi, Chirrut and Baze were all safely speeding away from the danger as fast as their stolen cargo ship’s hyperdrive can carry them. Though Jyn suspected that this hope is just that, a hope. Because for all that she’s only known them for a day or two, Jyn knows that they would not leave her or Cassian while there was still a chance that they were alive. She knows because she would not leave them in that situation either.

“Your father would be proud of you, Jyn.” Cassian said and Jyn smiled, her heart flushing with affection for the man, and with the bittersweet memories of her father. Jyn took his hand and they sat in silence for a while.

Jyn was not certain who moved first but she suddenly found herself in Cassian’s arms, his body warm and solid and it felt like home.

“Tell me what you see.” Cassian said softly, his fingers stroking soothing patterns into her hair.

Jyn was quiet for a long while trying to gather her thoughts, and berating herself for wasting time. But soon enough she answered with a dream:

“I see… a ship coming to get us.”

Cassian’s arms tightened around her body. “Where does it take us?” He asked, knowing it was not the truth but willing to play along.

“It takes us somewhere green… Where there are mountains near the ocean.” Jyn closed her eyes for a moment and imagined her childhood home. After so many years of fighting, she can see why her parents found the idea of a farm appealing. “And a house; small, but sturdy and warm.”

“What will we do there?”

“We have an orchard full of fruit trees, and a garden full of herbs and flowers… You fish on a boat on the ocean, and when you come home with a good catch we celebrate with wine made from the fruit that we grow.”

Cassian’s voice is rough with emotion as he asked, “And are we alone in the house with the orchard?”

Jyn was almost self-conscious to reply, but she could see them now and could find no good reason not to tell him. “No, there are children. A boy and a girl… Twins, so that they’re never alone even if we can’t protect them. There’s a dog too.” She added almost as an afterthought, Jyn loved dogs. “And a security droid you restored after you found it in a junk heap in town and used a backup copy of K2’s memory bank to bring it to life… He’s a terrible babysitter.”

She could feel Cassian’s smile against her neck, and wished for a moment that she could see his face. But that would mean parting from his embrace, and she would not do that for anything in the world.

“…And do you love me then, Jyn?” Cassian asked this in a small voice. Like he was afraid of the answer, like that moment in the elevator where a mutual understanding had passed between them had not occurred, or that he had imagined it.

But she does. By rights it makes no sense but, she does. By all the stars and all the planets in the galaxy, she does. If only they had been given the chance, she would have made sure he could never doubt it.

“Yes, Cassian.” She replied. “I love you.”

“Good… That’s good… I love you, too.”

It was a beautiful dream, one that Jyn had never entertained before. Love and home and children had always seemed a thing meant for other people. Though standing there with Cassian on the beach, it felt more real than the certainty of their death mere moments away. As if the acknowledgment that it was what they both would have wanted in their heart-of-hearts gave that dream a life of its own, and made it real.

They did not speak again. There were no more words to say.

The story does not end with them, though their part in it was finished, and all they had were these last few moments together.

But many don’t even get that much.

So they stood and faced their end together, holding each other and knowing what could have been. They live out that quiet life that both Jyn and Cassian imagined, a lifetime of memories and happiness condensed into those few moments standing there on that beach, and together go into the light, content and at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought. I’ll probably be writing more for these two, so stay tuned.


End file.
